Monday, December 7, 2015

Oh Dio

Between wavering breaths, frantic with need, with desperation a warrior of three generations argues still, with the same conviction he held one prior. The only difference now is he uses fewer hand gestures. Today, his mamma-mia's come from a different place, his oh-Dio's not for God.

I write of sorrows with tears not justified by stone or ash. I tell of life and love that I have neither lived nor felt, while I grasp at limbs I've yet to lose. Already, I can feel the weight of loss, the taste of sorrow and funeral home; a phantom limb scratching at a phantom limb.


Off-guard is a good feeling. It's knowing that makes it hard.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Kinky Seussian Freestyle

Could use a distraction, some hot hussy action
So somebody please, I won't be a tease
it's dreadfully boring up here on my feet

Throw me a bone, I'll get down on my knees
or better yet, take this collar and leash.
Please, lock me up tight and swallow the keys.

Do what you will, Sir, I'm your little whore.
You can flog me until my bruised backside is sore.
I'm simply a cur, were I anything more
I wouldn't be waiting here, down on all fours.

And I know I can stand up and walk out that door
but Master, I'd rather be yours.

A Language Long Forgotten

Some kids are running circles around the clinic, buzzing with alien jabber and lighting up the room with a hope that comes from not knowing any better. At least, that's what most would say. But then, children speak a language long forgotten by most.

The wait doesn't feel as endless as it most often does, though the end is by no means in sight. Still, from behind their medical face masks people smile at one another, and so it doesn't feel so grey to be in wait. You can tell because their eyes squint up when you look at them, and you come to forget why it is you've been waiting here at all.

Maybe that's the point. Maybe that's the medicine we've all been missing.

The children are still circling the room, swinging from railings and making grand statements in a language they'll inevitably lose touch with. They run, with arms outstretched, as if to say "I'm flying," because their mouths cannot. They are unaware of the illness that pervades the air. At least, they don't seem to care.

They choose not to wear their masks, but not because they do not know what's good for them; they choose not to because keeping them on would inhibit their speech, cull their incoherent zest for life. So they take them off instead. Because what they have to say is more important. And because they have so much to say, even when we don't know enough to listen.

By now, the nurse has called your name and you're following her to your room. Your breath is heavy and moist against your own face. Careful not to spread disease, you resist the urge to pull the mask from your mouth. When you reach your room, you can still hear the children laughing.

The nurse instructs you to turn off your phone and take a seat, with a tone more suited to the military than any hospital. Still, you oblige with a pointed, "Yes, ma'am," and a smile. She returns a soft, "Please and thank you," and you get the impression she's been pleasantly caught off guard. Still, she returns a moment later to be certain you've obeyed.

Soon the children move to the room adjacent to yours. The door is closed, but you can tell from the periodic bangs and shrieks of laughter that they're still there. Occasionally, you hear the stern reminder of a fatherly figure, or less often, a laugh of his own. Even the nurse chimes in with a muffled, but undoubtedly cheerful, "You kids don't seem sick at all!" and you begin to wonder when it is a child loses their ability to instil such joy, or whether they have to lose it at all.

Worn

she sleeps to feel awake
and wakes when she should be asleep

she dreams of lakes, and fakes the right face
at the right time
emotion on a dime

her reactions are perfect, concisely timed
but not innate, she has to contemplate

it's been a while
since she hasn't had to calculate
the right way to smile
or just how many teeth to show
but you'd never know